Addendum

A few things I forgot to mention.

Evan:

He's on a one nap schedule. He now naps at 12:30 pm, right after lunch, That has gone well.

He no longer eats on his high chair, but rather on the table with us. We got him a booster chair and he loves it.

He rides forward facing now. After 20 months, we decided to change his car seat since he's so tall, and he looked uncomfortable riding rear facing. He's completely astonished with the new view.

He still wakes up every night. So nights only once, others... far too many times. We're going to try a new strategy.

Joan:

She started waking up at night as well. At first I thought it was the 4th month wakeful period, but now I'm thinking it was the cold she still has. She was waking up 3-4 times, but now it's more like two, close to 5 am, when I feed her. she then goes back to sleep for another hour, so not too bad, considering.

She's blowing strawberries. When she's happy, but especially when she's upset, has been crying or is about to cry and you pick her up, she starts going to town with her vrrroom, vrrroom vrrroom, as if she was telling you why she was upset.

Evan: 20 months old

He weighs 29 lbs 10 oz and is 35 inches tall. That means he gained 2 pounds and half an inch in 2 months. He's growing fast!

He doesn't have many words, but he has a couple new ones. He says "agua" (water is Spanish) and sort of says "hola" and "avion" (airplane; it's not very clear but I understand him). He also says "hi" and "hop". Hop comes from one his favorite books at the time, Pouch. And he sort of hops around when he says it. It's adorable.

We're taking him to a gymnastics class, and he loves it. He doesn't use every apparatus, but the ones he does, he loves.

He still loves dancing. His favorite song right now is "Moves like Jagger" by Maroon 5 ft. Christina Aguilera. And last night he was taping on the table, and it actually had some melody to it. I was very impressed.

He also enjoys giving Joan Buddha bellies, feet, whatever he can grab. And dancing with her feet. She usually smiles at this, though every now and then, she's not amused... But he's gentle with her more often than not, which is an improvement.

Joan: 4 months old

I'm so in love with our girl.

She weighs 14 lbs 7 oz, and is 26.5 inches long. She's great. She's getting stronger every day. She loves sitting and standing (assisted). She giggles every time I help her to stand. She loves eating her hands and looking at them.She's not too into toys yet.

She also likes when Evan is gentle and playful. He makes her smile. And when we're reading books with Evan (and she's almost always there), she pays a lot of attention. I can tell she's going to love books, just like her brother.

She never cared for the binky, didn't use it at all and would spit it out. But now, she really into it. We still haven't decided if that's a good thing of a bad thing...

She's more demanding of attention, but she's still very laid back, and just a chilled, happy baby.

Joan: 3 months old

You wouldn't know it by looking at this picture (she's relaxing), but our little girl is a chatterbox! if she gets your attention, she'll start babbling happily. I wonder what stories she's telling me. I wonder if she's telling me about her brother when her tone changes and sounds annoyed. But mostly it's happy chatter, and I love it.

She's more attentive, a little more demanding of my attention too, but still pretty perfect and adorable. She sleeps all night and naps when I take Evan to the park. She won't let me nap, but that's ok.

She's very aware of Evan, and she now knows that if she cries when Evan is doing something to her, I'll put some distance between them. Sometimes she has every right to cry, because Evan isn't always gentle, but sometimes she just cries to get away. Ah, yes, she's a little sister and she knows how to work the system!

Elusive sleep

Evan has always been a great sleeper. He used to wake up only once to eat, and when we got rid of that feeding, he started sleeping all night, 11-12 hrs per night, plus his two 1-2 hr naps. As any kid, he would get crappy sleep when teething, but after the teething episode was done, so were the sleeping problems: he would go back to his normal schedule. He learned to put himself to sleep since he was a baby, and we completely faced out any rocking and feeding to sleep long time ago. I would put him down still awake, and he would turn and fall asleep.

Right now it's a whole different story. About three weeks ago he started refusing one of his naps. Not every day, but often. We've been there before, especially during teething, and he always goes back to his two nap schedule after a few days. But this time he started napping worse, and after a very good streak of no night wakings at all for something like two consecutive weeks, he started waking up at night. When he wakes up screaming, it's usually nightmares, so we used to go, give him a hug and put him back down, and he used to go back to sleep.

No more. Somehow we got sucked into staying in his room until he fell asleep, and now he won't have it any other way. At first it was only at bedtime, but it was also during any night waking (which as I mentioned, became far more regular), and finally nap time as well. So EVERY time he goes to sleep.

And when he wakes up at night, it can take a couple of hours for us to be able to leave his room. Sometimes he goes back to sleep, but wakes up every half hour or so, so we end up back there sooner rather than later. But other nights, the really bad nights, he won't go to sleep for hours. He's just checking on us, making sure we're still there, every few minutes.

In a moment of desperation, we tried to let him cry it out, though I'm really opposed to it. Maybe you're one of those who think it won't work if you don't believe in it. That's fine, but we really tried, and it still didn't work. Four nights we let him cry and cry, and four nights he cried and screamed for almost 4 hours.

So, ok, perhaps we didn't do it right. The first night, after 3.5 hours, Josh grabbed him and slept with him in the guest bed... The second night we finally stayed in the room for the 2 minutes it took him to fall asleep. But the third night I only went in once, after 2 hours just to check on him, and he finally cried himself to sleep, after over 4 hours. The forth night, after all that crying, Evan had a sore throat, and though we let him cry for another 4 hours, we decided to stop.

So here we are, staying in his room until he falls asleep, even when he wakes up several times at night, and trying to get him into a new one-nap schedule.

Thank goodness Joan sleeps all night. I can't imagine having two kids waking up at night!

Evan: 18 months old

There's no doubt there's a toddler in the house. (The pic shows his first black eye, though the light sucks. He walked into our bed frame)

He was 27 lbs 11 oz and 34.5 in at his last doctor's appointment. 95 percentile for height. He looks like a 3 year old!

He has twice as much energy as he did two months ago, he screams twice as loud, he thinks getting an upset reaction out of me is twice as funny... Yup, toddlerhood. We're there.

He's terrorizing the dogs, chasing them around with everything from spoons to loud toys. He screams at the top of his lungs out of excitement, but saves his ultimate supersonic scream for when he's upset. That's when Joan starts crying. And I get it, it hurts my ears too! The funny thing is, Evan has sensitive ears. How the heck can he scream like that and not be affected?

He also enjoys standing on the couch or the rocking chair (or any chair, really) and dance. He's a dancing fool, he loves it! He also enjoys biting me when I'm not paying enough attention for his liking (usually while I feed Joan) and he loves my reaction so much he does it again, and again, and again. Until I just leave him alone in the room for one minute. He loves going outside and gets really upset when it's time to come back in, whether it's because it's super hot outside, or because Joan is crying. But he usually gets over it quickly. Unless it means I have to feed Joan, then it might get rough around here.

But he still amazes me and makes me smile every day. Not just with his silly dance moves, or his excitement when he chases the dogs around. He's also discovering so many things every day. He's into the mechanics of everything right now. He spends time figuring out how things open and close: jars with lids, buckles, closet doors, drawers, cabinets (and the childproofing gadgets that keep them closed, thankfully he hasn't figured out to open them yet).

He still loves books, but now it means he picks a book and you have to read it 8 times in a row. And good luck trying to change the book, or getting him to "read" the book to you.

He's not talking yet, he only has a couple of words: mama, papa, sometimes Joan. He started saying Joan when she was about 2 weeks old, but he doesn't say her name often. Everything else he communicates with signs and "ma", "tee", and such. He understands everything we say in English and Spanish, so I'm not worried.

Yes, he drives us crazy half the time, but he's still incredibly adorable the rest of the time. He's for sure our favorite son. :)

Joan: 2 months old

For the first time in weeks both kids are asleep at the same time!

So let me tell you about Joan. At her 2 month doctor's appointment, she was 12 lbs 7 oz and 24 in. She is long! 95 percentile for our little one!

She's not a consistent napper during the day, but she sleeps through the night. Yes, I'm bragging. She sleeps from about 9 pm until 6 am. We absolutely love her for it.

She holds her head pretty steady, though of course not all the time. She can stand tummy time far longer than Evan did, but only if she can see me/us. If not, she's done with it pretty soon. So I can't give her tummy time in her crib, because the bumper blocks her view.

She's smiling and cooing and starting to laugh. She's such a light. But she's very mellow and calm, and will stand our trips outside to let Evan burn some energy.

That is not to say she doesn't cry. She will cry with such sentiment if something is bothering her (ahem, her brother's screams), you can't help but to want to fix it all right away.

And the cutest moment so far: on July 28 Evan and Joan were smiling at each other, and talking (cooing) together. Melted this mama's heart!

Videos

I obviously haven't had time to blog. So here are a couple videos for your entertainment instead.

A little dancing (this is from July 6)



A little wiggling (from July 5)




Ok, you need to turn your head sideways for this one, but if I wait until we fix it you'll never see it, and it's too funny! Evan walking in daddy's shoes (July 12)



Joan's best smile (July 18)




And last but not least, Evan's excitement (July 23)

One month old

Joan is so perfect. She moved on to size one diapers and 0-3 months clothing before turning 3 weeks old.

She cluster feeds most days, but sleeps wonderfully most nights. She goes to sleep sometime between 9 and 10 pm, and only wakes up once sometime between 2 and 4 am. The next wake up is usually around 6 am, not bad at all.

She has amazing head control, and bad-ass hair. She has somewhat of a Mohawk, which speaks of what a fierce little lady she is. Her hair grows that way. You can't fake that kind of fierceness

She is aware of Evan, and now knows he can be dangerous. He's usually very gentle and very good and cute with her, but he can turn in seconds. He has bit her foot once, and scratched her arm once. And he pats her a little too energetically sometimes. A couple of days ago, she actually flinched before he patted her head.

She's absolutely beautiful.

Birth Story

It's been a while! I started writing this post when Joan was 16 days old, and she'll be one month old tomorrow. I don't know how other moms of two blog! Every time I have a little "spare time" all I want to do is sleep, or watch TV, and more often than not I can't even get a decent nap or watch a whole show before one of the kids is awake.

There are lots of things I'd like to write about. Unfortunately I really don't have much time to spare on a daily basis. But let's start at the beginning: Joan's birth.

We were scheduled for a repeat c-section on the morning of May 20th at 8:30 am, and were told by the doctor to be at the hospital by 7 am. Everyone that was coming was here the day before: Josh's parents and sister, my mom and my aunt. We all went out to dinner to a fabulous restaurant and I enjoyed a big meal, the last as a pregnant mama.

The next morning we woke up bright and early to get ready to leave. I thought we would just leave without waking up Evan, so we wouldn't disturb him, but Josh got him so I could give him a kiss. I must admit, I was in a bit of a mood that morning. I guess mostly I was emotional, and I was focusing on the negatives of the situation: Evan won't be the only one anymore, will he be ok? And now I'm having surgery, and recovery is such a drag, and I'll never be pregnant again, or have this kind of beautiful belly; life will never be the same, having two kids so close together is crazy, how will I ever get anything done?, etc, etc... I was excited about meeting our little girl, but I was overwhelmed by the change in reality.

So we got to the hospital, found Labor and Delivery, and we told we were late already. The doctor said be there at 7 am, but they would have liked us to be there at 6:30 am. So they started prepping me right away. The OR nurse came by, the anesthesiologist came by, the anesthesiologist's assistant came by, the doctor came by, and soon enough it was 8:30 am and time to roll. So they took me to the OR and left Josh in the room while he got into his blue scrubs and they got me ready.

Getting a spinal tap was interesting. The only thing you really feel is the local anesthetic shot, but it's so close to nerves and bones that you really feel it, more than a shot anywhere else. Then you lie down and your legs start getting numb. Next was the catheter (and I'll spare you any details of that). In no time, as I was trying not to throw up, Josh was there next to me. I told the anesthesiologist I was getting really nauseous and he gave me something to ease the nausea. Good thing too, I was to the point where I was either going to try to throw up or pass out. Or it felt that way. It was just a few minutes before I started feeling that "pressure" they tell you you'll feel when they're pushing the baby out, though it really wasn't much pressure, it was far more light than I expected. The anesthesiologist's assistant told Josh it was time, and did he want to take a look. So he did. My husband saw my insides, just after they pulled Joan out.

I was waiting to hear her cry, and it took what felt like forever (surely just a couple seconds, though). Then I was starting to get really nervous, though trying hard to keep my cool and be patient. She was crying, or trying to cry, but there was so much fluid in her throat that it sounded as though she was drowning. I know it's very common with c-sections babies, but still it made me nervous. After a good 30 seconds she was crying normally, and I could breathe again.

I could see her from the distance, and Josh went to see her. After the pediatrician checked her, they were ready to take her outside. They showed her to me, and I gave her a kiss. And Josh and Joan went to our recovery room, to have some daddy-daughter, skin to skin time.

By the time they rolled me to the recovery room, Josh was happily enjoying his time with our girl, but also willing to hand her over so we could start breastfeeding. And as soon as our nurse gave us the ok, we did. And she's great at it.

Then we started the process of picking a name. We knew right away with Evan, but this time around it took us almost 4 hours to figure it out! But I think we decided on the perfect name. She's absolutely a Joan. Joan Elizabeth. Our beautiful little girl.

Last appointment

Four days to go, and we had our last appointment and ultrasound. Grandma Debbie and Grandpa Chuck are in town now, so they got to go with us. Unfortunately, Bear is so low into my pelvis, that we really didn't get to see a lot. But she has a strong heartbeat, plenty of fluid, and is nearing 8 pounds in weight, according to the ultrasound. Though since she was so low, we're not too sure on accuracy.

But here's what I thought would be a fun pic, but isn't as dramatic as I thought it would. It's a comparison of weeks 30, 34 and 38. To be honest, I don't see that much of a difference...

Here's a similar comparison I did with Evan (weeks 30, 33 and 36). The difference is far more dramatic, I think:


Do you know what to make of it? Because I don't.

So surgery is scheduled for next Friday at 8:30 am. I'll update here as soon as I feel like it (let's face it, with a baby, a toddler and after major abdominal surgery, it may not happen for a few days)

I gained another 3 pounds for a grand total of 40 pounds so far. I'm 171 pounds right now, which is exactly 10 pounds less than with Evan. But that's exactly how much lighter I started this pregnancy. It looks like even though Bear will be delivered 10 days earlier that Evan was, my weight gain will be about the same with both pregnancies.

And here's me at 38 weeks with Bug (in blue) and Bear (in red):


There's a difference in the angle of the picture, but I still think I look bigger with Evan (though again, I was 10 pounds heavier to begin with). I'd say chances are they'll be pretty similar in birth weight. We shall see.

But 4 more days and all we'll know if all this guessing is worth anything!

38 weeks

We'll call this week "contraction week". I'd had a few more episodes of tight BH contractions every 5 minutes. The most notable one yesterday, and it lasted about 4 hours. We went for a walk and during the walk contractions were every 2 minutes. Crazy stuff.

But alas, we're still here, didn't go into labor. So things continue right on schedule, which means we'll meet Belly Bear in 6 days.

Today we were busy cleaning and organizing the house. But now I'm very sore. I have more cleaning to do tomorrow, we'll see how I feel.

Oh, and I didn't gain 6 pounds between week 36 and 37 as I did with Evan, only 1.5 lbs. Not bad, uh?

Done

You know how I was so nostalgic about these being the last days I'm pregnant ever? Forget about it. Last night I was begging to go into labor. Such an uncomfortable night! Not really painful, just uncomfortable.

Well, painful in that every time I stand I can feel pressure on all of my joints, from my fingers to my knees and hips, from all that swelling I get at night. And for a while I was sleeping so hard I didn't wake up to go to the bathroom, so when I finally did it was because I had a really tight BH contraction that put a lot of pressure on my bladder. Not a nice way to wake up.

And when I woke up this morning I was thinking: "it's Friday, right? tell me it's Friday! Fudge, it's Thursday..."

I'm feeling better now, but still, I'm pretty close to done. Good thing it's only 8 more days as opposed to over 16. And good I have a big chocolate cake to pull me through.

Single digits

Nine days. Nine days until we meet Belly Bear.

I must be honest, this is a bittersweet moment. Yes, being pregnant is a challenge and I'm pretty done with the swelling, the pain, the uncomfortable sleep. But this is the last time I'll be pregnant (no, really. We're not having a third). Even though it's exhausting to be pregnant, it's also absolutely amazing to grow a little human being, and seeing him/her move and stretch, feel him/her move around, have hiccups, try to grab around (though that's really uncomfortable too!) Yes, I'm done being pregnant, but can I really soak up these last few days, please? Can we make them just a little bit longer?

But at the same time, can we make them shorter? Sure, we still have an endless list of things to do (literally, we won't be done, ever), but all the basics are covered and ready for her arrival. I think we're ready too. Can we meet her already, please?

The last few days stretch forever, while going by so fast. Such a strange reality. But it's the last 9 days I'm pregnant ever. I may need some chocolate cake today. And maybe for the next 8 days...

Heartbreaking

My cousin David and his wife Paty lost their baby girl, Patricia Ximena, last night. She was born on April 29th with Esophageal Atresia and Tracheoesophageal Fistula (esophagus not connected to the stomach) and passed away last night of respiratory complications after what was to be the first of a series of surgeries.

Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers. I cannot imagine the pain they must be going through, but it's heartbreaking.

Thank you.

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day!

Yesterday my lovely husband, who's so smart and has been very good at keeping my anxieties and nesting instincts at bay (he's so experienced with my pregnancy freak outs now), drove a total of over 3 hours to get Bear's furniture and a few basic assorted items. I sent him with a very specific list, and he not only bought everything on it, but he added a couple of things of his own. He's adorable like that.

So today we've been doing what every mother wants to do before the imminent birth of a child: build furniture. This after a delicious breakfast I didn't have to cook, and while knowing I won't have to cook dinner either. And also knowing I'm allowed to have donuts for lunch, because it's Mother's Day, and I'm pregnant.

So today we built the changing table while Evan was asleep, and the crib, while Evan was outside Bear's room (with a baby gate) playing with a box of his old clothes (though "old clothes" sounds inappropriate, doesn't it? I mean, he's only 15 months old! Those clothes aren't really that old, but they don't fit anymore)

Anyways, we were about to finish building the crib, when Evan started to get anxious about being left out, so he started screaming and crying. As soon as we were done, I carried him inside so he could take a look at the crib, though we couldn't let him roam around the room yet. We were pretty surprised to see he did not like the idea of another crib in the house. He was not happy to see it. I guess he couldn't understand why we needed another crib, since his is there already! And why would we keep him out while building this, what the heck were we hiding? Or something of that nature, I imagine...

We took him outside again, gave him something to drink and attention, and he was fine. Later when the room was a bit more organized and decent enough for him to walk around, we let him in again. He was fine with the whole thing then. He looked at the crib, started banging the mattress amused, and just walked around, looking for interesting things to mess with.

So maybe it was just the not being allowed in part that had him upset, or maybe he's realizing something is up but is dealing with it (he's very adaptable). The bottom line is that we're now very glad we got the furniture now rather than later, so Evan has time to adjust and get used to it before Bear's arrival.

And me, I couldn't be happier. Seriously, I didn't have to cook at all today. I have an amazing husband, an unbelievably cute toddler, a little girl on the way and all of her furniture (almost) ready. And donuts. Life doesn't get much better!

Well, ok, maybe a beer would be nice. Just two weeks for that!

37 weeks

And we're full term! Belly Bear could be born today, and she would be alright. However...

Our appointment last Monday went well. No dilation at all, which to me confirms Bear won't be in any rush to be early. I gained a bit more weight that usual: instead or my normal one pound per week thing, I gained 2.5 pounds, for a grand total of 166.5 so far. Darn, I knew having a chocolate cake and half a coffee cake would come back to haunt me!

As I was looking at old blog entries to find that false alarm episode, I ran into the 37 weeks post too. Turns out I gained a whooping 6 pounds from week 36 to week 37 with Evan. What?? Yes, 6 pounds in one week. I hope it doesn't happen again, I swear I've only had a couple of donuts this week! ;)

Ah, yes, the urgency for baked goods has arrived. I crave baked goods now like I did for months while pregnant with Evan. I don't really know what that means...

False Alarm... sort of

Last night was interesting. Though we didn't really realize how interesting until this morning.

Starting at about dinner time, I started to notice that I was having contractions pretty close together. Not painful, just really tight, my basic tight BH contractions. So after we put Evan down to sleep and while we were sitting on the couch, I decided to time them just to see really how close together they were. I was surprised to see they were 4-5 minutes apart!

I was drinking water and I was pretty well hydrated, and I had been moving around and walking, even if I was just sitting at that time. But we were unfazed. We're all pros, remember? We've been here before. I had the same thing happen when I was pregnant with Evan.

That time we were surprised and unprepared, and as I lied in bed on my left side, drinking water and timing contractions, my husband was occupied packing a to-go bag, just in case we needed to go to the hospital. We'd been so sure it was too early to pack anything, that the contractions episode caught us off guard and we were excited and panicky at the same time. But alas, that was a false alarm. And we were really alarmed for a little while!

This time, we figured it was the same thing, and we just went to bed after a while. Though the excitement kept me awake when it happened with Evan, this time around I just slept. I figured if the contractions were something to really worry about, they would wake me up. I had contractions in my dreams, but they never woke me up, and in a few hours it was back to normal. Just the same thing as with Evan, nothing to worry about.

The interesting part was when I found the post about that false alarm with Evan. Turns out I was 36w5d along that time. Exactly as far along as I was yesterday! What are the odds?!?

So Evan and Bear are starting to act alike. Which to me means two things: Bear is going to be as awesome a baby as Evan was (fingers crossed on that one!), and Bear will not be here early. Two more weeks!

36 weeks

I'm still doing well with the weight gain: 35 pounds so far. We're going to the doctor every week now, since we're so close!

We actually got an ultrasound last Monday. Our doctor checked for the sex again, and yes, Bear is still a girl :) I know it's crazy to doubt, but a friend of mine was told she was having a girl and it was a boy, and this happened just last year! I like having confirmation.

Other than that, everything looks great. Bear is just over 5 pounds and measuring right on target. So now we wait.

standing alone

Evan figured out how to stand by himself. He goes from his downward facing dog position to standing, so he no longer needs me or any furniture to get up and go.

He's also trying to speed, which sometimes ends with a plop on the floor. But he's getting pretty fast regardless!

35 weeks

Remember how I was saying my feet were swelling? Well, the whole body swelling has started. Just like last time, I get more swollen at night, and my fingers and hands are swollen every morning.

It was finally time to trade my wedding rings for my I'm-too-pregnant-to-wear-my-wedding-rings ring. it actually feels pretty big during the day, but at night it gets pretty tight. No need risking my rings or my fingers, I'll wear this one for the next 7-8 weeks, probably.

We have a walker!

I knew once Evan got started, he would get it right away. He's walking! Of course he still crawls around, but if you help him stand, he will walk. He does pretty long distances now (for a toddler learning), and he's enjoying it.

So we have a late walker, but a walker nonetheless!

Walking business

As you may remember, Evan is not walking yet. He walks with us holding his hand, but he’s not really walking solo yet. He took a few steps by himself a couple of weeks ago, but then he got sick and stopped all efforts to try again. Until last week. Last week he started standing on his own for a few seconds to just over a minute, for the first time. He seemed to be gaining confidence. Once or twice, he even repeated the feat of taking a couple of steps, but no more than four steps at a time.

But tonight, Evan started venturing more steps. I think I counted just over 10 steps at a time. He still goes down to his knees all the time, but he’s getting there. He’s realizing this walking thing might be worth the effort. It may take a couple more weeks for him to really walk all the time, but we’re getting there.

Feet

I’m sitting in bed, with my legs extended in front of me, looking at my swollen ankles. Just like last time, the right one is more swollen than the left one, and just like last time, it was a trip that screwed me.

Last time, our Babymoon to Hawaii had some major repercussions on my feet. I wouldn’t change a thing about that trip, but being on a plane for so many hours really did a number on my feet, and they never recovered from that until after delivery. Sadly, this time it took a whole lot less to get my feet swollen: two consecutive trips to Norfolk, VA, approximately 1.5 hours away, that’s all it took.

We went to pick up and drop off my sister in law, Sharon, as she visited this past weekend. We also took the chance to do a little more window shopping, and some actual shopping for Bear (we got her bedroom decorations, yay!). And now, after the hours on the road and at stores, my feet are swollen. C’est la vie, I guess.

Today was fine. The one thing I can say about today is that I miss how when I was pregnant with Evan I could just lay on the couch and watch TV or sleep, or do nothing. This time around, I obviously can’t, since I’m on Evan’s schedule. I wish I could veg on the couch and not worry about dinner or dishes; that would be awesome. But alas, not this time. Evan can’t eat take out all the time, nor do we have the energy to go out to get it anyways.

34 weeks

Week 35 is a special milestone in pregnancy: not only does it mean you’re 35 weeks in, but you only have 35 days left. In this case, though, that milestone happens this week for us because of the way the c-section is scheduled: we’re 34 weeks in, and have 34 days to go.

This week was the first time I thought to myself “you know, I’m pretty over this being pregnant business”. My hips have been in pain. Sleeping is such an uncomfortable ordeal. I try to sleep on my left side as I should, but my hip starts feeling like something crashed into it, so I turn to my right side. Then my right thigh goes all numb, and it’s just not as comfortable, so I have to move again. If I lie on my back, I can’t breathe too well, plus I snore (ah, yes, another wonderful thing about pregnancy). So there’s a lot of shifting around and potty trips, especially as Bear is so low already. Needless to say, this is definitely the uncomfortable stage.

Also, nesting instinct kicked in HARD. This morning I woke up at 5:20 am because I had to pee, but then I stayed up thinking about all the things we still need to do and set up and how little time we have left (because obviously 34 days is not enough, people!), to the point that if it weren’t because my sister in law was in the guest room, I would have walked in there and started sorting clothes and moving the bed around to figure out the configuration of her furniture. I finally just waited until my husband was awake so he could talk me down, because
I was really starting to get worked up about things not being ready.

So I’m a bit calmer, but I’ll definitely finish all the laundry I have left, and we’ll start thinking about buying Bear’s furniture soon, as opposed to the original plan of waiting until August.

33 weeks

Tired. That about sums it up. I’ve been tired to the point where I feel like I could take a nap by 8 am. That’s still at least 1.5 hours away from Evan’s first nap. Lucky for me, Evan has been very tired too. He has been taking really good 1.5-3 hour naps, which allowed me to nap a little, or at the very least rest a lot.

Of course, that ended today. Evan is back to his 40 minute naps. I’m hoping it’s just for the weekend, because daddy is home, but I’m not holding my breath.

A couple of things you may or may not want to know about: my belly button has officially popped. I think it should be called an outie once it can be seen through clothing, regardless of if that’s the case all the time. So by that definition, I have an outie. When I lay down it sort of hides again, but for the most part it’s out. Also, the linea negra is finally showing up. It was there from very early on with Evan, but with Bear it has taken its sweet time. I’m not complaining; I would’ve been fine not seeing it again. But it’s here, and that’s fine. It’s still not as dark as it was with Evan.

Bear's nursery and needs

Every now and then, I obsess about the things we need for Bear. I obsessed about her bedding for weeks, until finally I found something we liked. I obsessed about double strollers, and now I have it narrowed down to 2 or 3 I like (but some of those are too pricey to consider!) We decided not to get her furniture until August, so I hadn’t looked for that, but this weekend we went to Babies R Us and figured out which furniture set we like. We also found decorations that would go great with the bedding and theme we decided on for her bedroom (birds! Are you shocked?) Those are the big ticket items we need, so I’m glad we have figured out what we want, even if we’re not buying it yet.

We also got a list of needs started. We have a lot of things covered: car seat, pack & play, swing, bouncer. So our list is not that long, and it has the boring items that are truly a necessity: monitor, waterproof covers, changing pad and covers, hamper, that sort of things. I’m glad we don’t need many things, but we still need to get a move on and start getting some of them that we really need from the start. I would like to be done with that list before I’m too big to want to deal with it!

We still have time, though, I’m sure we can get it done.

32 weeks

This week has been a bit strange. First, and much to my dismay, my varicose veins have reached my ankle and foot. I just can’t get over the fact that they won’t stop, they just keep spreading. Sigh, only a few more weeks left.

Also, it has been a week of weird dreams. Anything under the rainbow, from dreaming with people I haven’t seen or thought about in a long time, to dreams of persecution and murder plots. I actually think I could write a few short stories if not books out of those dreams, if I had the discipline to write the plot down.

But I digress. I don’t think I’d had so many crazy dreams so close together in a while. Even with potty breaks, I would go back to dreaming the same thing.

Other than that, it’s been alright. Nights are getting more uncomfortable but that’s to be expected. One more week down, seven weeks to go.

On the mend

Evan is doing much better. The fever is finally gone, he’s letting all the nasty congestion out, and he just looks happier and he’s acting more like himself again. A few more days of antibiotics and he should be all good!

The kid is sick :(

Yesterday (Monday) we went to our Mommy and Me playgroup. We came back, and Evan took a nap.
When he woke up, I noticed he was warmer than normal, but I assumed maybe it was because of the way he was sleeping, and because the house was getting warm. So we did lunch and he ate as much as usual, though he was acting a bit cranky. Once I got him out of his high chair and we went to his bedroom to play, and he was clingy and cranky, I noticed he was still feeling rather warm. So I took his jacket off (one of those thin ones that come with outfits) and I took his temperature. Was I surprised when the reading was 101.9F! That was as high as I’d even seen it. He’s gotten 100.3F or so with teething, but this kind of freaked me out, and I called the pediatrician’s office right away. Yeah, yeah, perhaps that was a bit much, but this was the first time he actually had a fever.

The receptionist wasn’t concerned at all, but said she would have someone call me anyways. I calmed down and decided to be proactive instead of just freaking out and holding Evan. So I got rid of layers in his clothing and gave him Tylenol. Then I gave him a lukewarm bath, and that helped a lot. I took his temperature again and it was 98.6F, so I put him down for a nap. He took a good nap, and in that time the nurse called me (almost 2 hours later, which I was not too happy about) and said if he still had a fever, to bring him in the next day.

When Evan woke up he felt hot again. I took his temperature again: 102F. He got more Tylenol, another bath and dinner. He slept through the night no problems, but in the morning he was hot again. We took him into bed with us, and unlike every time we do this, when he’s all over the place and jumping from one to the other, he just lied down and stayed there. His temperature: 102.4F. Needless to say we started getting ready to take him to the pediatrician’s office.

So after a bit of wait (we were there before the doctor got there), the pediatrician finally checked him out. Since Evan had had a cold the whole week prior to the fever, and is still congested, it looks more like an infection. A cold gone bad, so to speak. So he prescribed antibiotics. We’re still treating his fever with Tylenol and baths, and he’s getting antibiotics. Let’s hope he feels better soon.

Pregnancy dreams

I’ve been having crazy, bizarre dreams. Last night I dreamt Bear was born, and it was only me and DH there at the hospital room. Bear was fine, breathing, but not crying, and I was trying to wake her up. She was small and thin, more like a small person than a baby. DH was trying to weigh her, and she was just over 6 pounds.

Anyways, the point is that I think I’m starting to worry about her being early. Like, really early. Especially since she just dropped. Evan didn’t drop until week 36! I know that doesn’t mean much, but still.

So Bear, stay there for at least 6 more weeks. But let’s make it eight for good measure!

First steps

Tonight, Evan took his first steps. He was walking between DH and I, and most the time he would just launch himself towards us, but a couple of times he actually took a couple of steps. The most he did was take four steps from me to Daddy, all by himself.

Of course, that’s not to say he’s walking, but these are his official first steps. His balance is still lacking and he walks like a drunk sailor most of the time, even when we’re holding his hands, but he’s getting there. We’re so proud!

31 weeks

This week it was just me and the Bug. DH was out of town for training, so it was challenging to be the only parent on call. But the big pregnancy related thing is that when DH saw me again, he immediately said Bear has dropped. And the last couple of days of the week made more sense. I had some really low cramps on Thursday morning, I felt really sore since about 4 am, and they lingered until after noon, but were gone after that. And since then, I’ve been making more trips to the bathroom. I just have the sudden need to go sometimes, like after I bend over to grab Evan or a toy, or put him down.

Another thing that I keep getting is BH contractions. But I got them all the time with Evan too, so I just try to drink some water and go on with my day.

Bear has been active as always. And she’s been getting a lot of hiccups in the past couple of weeks. I love feeling her move around.

30 weeks

Thirty weeks, 28 pounds. Not too bad. I had a doctor's appointment yesterday, and things are right on track. My belly measures exactly what it should for 30 weeks, and Belly Bear kicks every time they try to listen to her heartbeat. She's a little feisty girl!

At this point last time, I was 26 pounds over and Evan was measuring a whole week ahead. Perhaps Bear is a bit smaller so far, but still right on track.

I'm still in the same level of uncomfortableness. I've been having a few rough nights when I just can't get comfortable, and no naps. When people tell you upon looking at you that you look tired, that's bad, and I've been getting that this week.

And next week will be exhausting since Josh won't be here. So it'll be me, Evan and the dogs for a whole week. Fun times in the big city!

Friends

I know my blog posts a couple of weeks back were a little blue. As you know, I was feeling rather overwhelmed and you got to hear all about it. Well, I'm still quite overwhelmed, but I now have friends (yay!).

I met another mom through one of the baby groups I go to, that also happens to be a neighbor. She lives a block away from our house and has a beautiful baby girl. We pretty much clicked right away and have been hanging out a bit since.

Also, another mom from another group has been very friendly, and I've opened up with her about how overwhelmed I've been feeling. She has offered to take Evan to give me a breather or to get together and let our kids play while we chat. I might take her up on it next week, since my dear husband will be out of town for work.

Slowly but surely, I feel like I have a support system outside of my husband. As I spend more time with some of these moms I feel less alone in this path. And I feel that if at some point my day is not going well, I can call someone and make my day better just by leaving the house to hang out with someone that gets it.

So I'm still not sure how I'll survive those first few months with a baby and a toddler, but at least now I know I will.

Transitions

Once Evan turned one and we moved into our house, we decided it was time to make a few changes. First, we decided it was time to stop giving him formula and start him on cow’s milk. He’s had cow’s milk with his cereal almost from the very beginning, but when we tried milk alone, he wasn’t that into it. Also, his stools got a bit loose. So we did more of a transition, we started mixing a bit of milk with his formula, and increased it by an ounce every couple of days. And it worked; he’s been on cow’s milk for almost 2 weeks now.

Then we decided to take the next step: the sippy cup. He has been using it to drink water, but he hasn’t been too keen on drinking milk from it. So we started with one meal at a time, and now he only has the bottle at the end of the day, the last feeding before bedtime. Honestly, I could probably get rid of that one now and he would accept it, but I think at this point I keep giving him a bottle for my own sake.

He’s growing so quickly. I’ve never called him “my baby”, but suddenly I am. And he’s not a baby anymore, he’s a toddler, a big boy, almost a kid.

I guess he's not the only one going through some transitions here.

29 weeks

Ten weeks to go. Probably ten pounds too.

I had a realization today. I’ve gained probably 27 pounds by now. Add the 24 pounds Evan weighs, and that’s 51 extra pounds I carry around a significant part of the day. No wonder my legs feel the way they do!

I was reading back on how I felt at this point in the pregnancy with Evan, and I realized that I was not as uncomfortable as I thought. I thought I was swollen and uncomfortable already at this point last time, and that considering I’m not too uncomfortable, I was doing quite well this time around. Turns out, the best is yet to come. I now know this time around has been a little more difficult, if only because for my leg. It throbs and feels hot, and it’s starting to be painful more often than not. So, obviously I’m looking forward to the next 10 pounds.

I also realized I was going through a similar thing at this point last time: bad hydration. Last Tuesday I woke up and I had a lot of BH contractions. I feel them very often, but this time it was more often than usual. I wrote a post referring to the same thing back then, and it was that I wasn’t drinking enough water. So I need to stay on top of that, it’s really uncomfortable to get so many contractions while caring for Evan.

I’ve enjoyed this week of pregnancy a lot. I’ve been paying more attention to Bear’s movements, and I’m amazed by how strong our little girl is already. Sometimes it’s like she’s dancing samba in there! And sometimes her movements are sweet and gentle, and I can tell she’s just shifting to make herself comfortable. It’s starting to feel more real for me: we’re having a little girl, and she’ll be here in 10 weeks.

Our big boy

Last weekend we went to a county event called Block Play. Basically, it's a series of different types of blocks that are set for kids to learn different things. They are set up in different "stations", and you get about 10 minutes per station before moving on to the next one. They explain what the focus of that particular set of blocks is, what kids can do with it to learn different things according to their stage of learning, and then let the kids play as they want with your help.
Evan enjoyed it very much, though he didn't really get what he was supposed to do with many of them, and he got distracted once or twice with stairs and with going back to the previous set of blocks. Still, since that little activity, something clicked in his mind, and he has been far more interested in getting good at a couple of toys.
The shape sorter is one of them. He has one like the one below (but not pink). It's basically a bucket you can open pretty easily, and he usually uses it more like a bucket to put the pieces in and out.
We did a bit of sorting but only with square blocks, but he remembers and is now trying to put the pieces in through the sorter top. He doesn't always get it right, and sometimes he's trying to put it in the right slot but the piece is sideways so it won't fit. However, he's trying and figuring it out.

Another one he's good at now is this:

The stacker. He still gets the order wrong, and he doesn't get them in all the time, but he has successfully done the whole thing a few times. We didn't have this one with us for a couple of months (it was packed with the rest of our things), but now that he found it again, he loves it.

Other things he's into: remotes, TV, and cell phones. Remotes are toys, obviously (or so he wishes, he doesn't get to play with them but sure tries)(and no, we don't want to get him a toy remote). TV is interesting, of course. He loves watching daddy play Wii, or watching sports with him now that we have DirecT.V again. all the colors and movements are attractive. And cell phones. He grabs daddy's phone and puts it up to his ear. Very adorable, but he doesn't get to that often either (and no, we don't want to get him a toy phone either).

It's amazing how those 40 minutes we spent playing with blocks helped him make so many connections! We're loving it, he always plays with a smile on his face... until we take something away, that is. Obviously.

28 weeks

28 weeks, 11 weeks to go. This week has been of uncomfortable sleep. I had my OBGYN appointment yesterday and lo and behold, I have gained 26 pounds so far. I think I'm gaining 40 pounds again... Oh well, might as well enjoy it. All looks well, I had my 1 hour glucose test and should know it I need further testing in a couple of days. I'm crossing my fingers for a no. We won't be able to officially schedule the c-section until about a month before because there's no way to schedule the OR so far in advance, but so far we're in agreement that May 20th is the preferred date and quite likely the one. So we'll plan accordingly.

I've been a bit more tired, with a bit more shortness of breath, very emotional.

Ah! Almost forgot, big development. My belly button is half way out. This is a major because my lovely husband was expecting it to pop with Evan's pregnancy, but it didn't. So he has high hopes for Bear to make it happen. Considering we still have 11 weeks to go, I think he's going to get his wish. It's very shallow, and the top of it is pretty much out. Half way there, Bear, to make daddy happy! She's going to be such a daddy's girl... :)

27 weeks

Wow. We're only 12 weeks away. For some reason, that sounds a lot closer than 13, or any other number up until now. I know it's still pretty much 3 months, and that sounds like a long time from now, but 12 weeks... that sounds really close.

So I got my new compression hose in the mail last Wednesday, and I couldn't wait to try them on. I was right, they are not a sexy garment. When I was looking for maternity jeans I resisted buying anything that had a belly panel, and only looked at jeans that had elastic below the belly. But today I sit here with a full belly panel covering my belly, from my pantyhose. Lovely. However, I guess it does the job. My legs don't feel as tired, though once the hose is off I can see that there really is no improvement in the veins themselves. But I'll take the extra comfort of not feeling so much pain for now. Hopefully they'll also prevent the development of new veins.

As I mentioned last week, I'm getting back to the tired stage. Evan's middle of the night wake ups don't help, and he's been getting them more often lately.

I'm also at the stage when sleeping on my back is uncomfortable because I feel a little out of breath. However, sleeping on my side all the time is hard, I do wake up on my back often. I'm not waking up as often as I used to, but I am waking up earlier (around 5-6 am) and finding it very hard to go back to sleep. Of course, now that Evan is waking up earlier as well, it makes no difference because within 20 minutes of me waking up, he's awake. Perhaps it's a good thing I can't go back to sleep after all.

Another interesting thing of the last couple of days is that I haven't been that hungry. I've been skipping lunch because I'm not hungry at all. I'm sure that won't last long, though.

I know I haven't been doing comparisons between weeks this time around, basically because time is limited when I'm online on the computer. But today I decided to do a comparison with a twist. Here's me at 27 weeks when pregnant with Evan, and now with Bear:

I can see they look different, but I can't quite pin down different how. The belly is a little more out, and higher, maybe a little pointy, and perhaps a little smaller in the N-S axis? Did that make any sense at all? You can decide for yourself if they are different at all.

Not going as planned...

I really wanted to keep Evan’s two nap per day routine. Our pediatrician said it was definitely possible to keep up. Most kids will keep their two naps until they’re two if you keep them in the routine, he said. And he ought to know, he has five kids. So I was very optimistic.

Alas, shit has hit the fan. In a matter of days, Evan has gone from two 1-1.5 hour naps, to one 1 hour nap. Plus he’s waking up earlier. And he refuses to sleep even when he’s clearly tired, which leads to a crankier, more-easily-annoyed-by-all-the-things-he’s-not-allowed-to-do kid. It also means I only get a one hour break, which leads to a crankier mom. Honestly, I need to get him back on track or I’ll go crazy. It’s really only been 2-3 days of this one nap thing, but I can’t deal. It’s so exhausting to be here with him all day, unable to do anything house related because he needs to be watched. Sure, we can go out to story time, but it’s still watching him all day nonstop, and just when I’m starting to relax, he wakes up.

It doesn’t help that I’m starting to need a nap myself. So when am I supposed to do any cleaning, cooking, relaxing, blogging, whatever?

So I’m going to try to get him back on a double nap schedule, but I don’t know if it’ll work. I hope it does. I feel like I’m failing miserably in the current situation, and it really makes me wonder if and how I’ll ever survive 2 under 2.

When they turn one

I’m starting to believe there’s a switch that goes on as soon as a baby turns one. This joyous occasion marks the time when our babies are no longer referred as such, but instead they are called toddlers. Such big kiddos now! This switch, however, does more than change the term to refer to them; it literally turns them into toddlers, almost overnight.

It’s so funny to me how babyhood was sort of expected. Everybody knows how things happen: baby sleeps all day, wakes up to eat, and plays little. Then they are more attentive, but still sleep a lot. Then comes rolling over, sitting up, solids, creeping, crawling, all the stages until finally, around the first year of age, they walk, and probably say mama and dada, and mean it. So cute! Babies are supposed to be adorable, and they develop so quickly, so many milestones all cramped up in one year. And everyone knows that’s how it goes, these natural stages of development, everyone expects it and asks “is he crawling yet? Is he walking yet? Does he say any words?”

Toddlers, on the other hand, are supposed to be a handful. Curious and anxious to explore, they’re supposed to push your buttons and test every limit they encounter. Everyone has heard of the infamous “terrible twos”, that’s also expected. But I’ve never heard an expression for that stage between 1 and 2, something that defines this transition period between babyhood and the terrible twos. That’s because no one wants to burst your bubble, no one wants you to know there’s really little transition. All of the sudden they’re definitely not babies. They’re not full-fledged toddlers either, but it all starts so drastically that it throws you off your feet. In the space of a week so many things change, it’s unbelievable.

All of those things we’ve all heard about toddlers, the tantrums, the attitude, the testing of limits, it all starts as soon as they turn one. One day baby, next day toddler. Just like that, a good tantrum appears. Just like that, your kid is throwing himself on the floor dramatically while screaming when he doesn’t get his way (and where did he learn that!?!?). Suddenly, he doesn’t want that snack he liked so much, and it all ends up on the floor. Out of nowhere, all his patience is lost and he screams while you’re very obviously working on what he wants, like food and milk. Doesn’t matter you’re right there doing it, he wants it yesterday. Out of the blue, diaper changes are a battle where screaming and twisting are a must, and any toy intended to distract him ends up on the floor. All of the sudden, distraction and removal doesn’t work quite as well, as his memory has improved and will find his way back to the bookcase or the drawers he’s not supposed to play with time and time again. And he will throw a fit every time you try to distract and remove him, because he gets better at it every day.

I’m still in shock, mainly because I feel completely unprepared for this. The babyhood I knew all about is over; this is definitely uncharted territory, and I don’t have a map or a compass. I find myself trying to decide first and foremost which battles are worth fighting and to what extent. And I try to be consistent, but sometimes the constant nagging makes it hard. See? Completely unprepared. How am I going to survive toddlerhood with a baby, and toddlerhood times two? I have no idea, and to be honest at this point I don’t know if I will.

New tooth

Maybe that rough night was about Evan getting his 8th tooth. We’re not entirely positive, but we just discovered it, so it must be! So now he has 4 upper teeth, 4 lower teeth. Nice!

26 weeks

My legs have been really throbbing and bothering me, so I finally decided to get myself a compression pantyhose. Boy, those things sure look sexy! (not) We’ll see if they’re actually helpful.

The exhaustion that I had on the first trimester is making a comeback. I can’t really say I had a lot of energy in between those stages, more like barely enough that I could make it through the day, but now it’s winding down again. I think it’s a little too early for that, but there’s nothing I can do about it.

At the same time, we’re going to bed later, so I sleep a little less at night. Maybe that has something to do with it.

Other than that, still growing, Bear is still kicking up a storm, and things are well.

Sunday: 25 weeks (and 1 day)

I decided to make this week’s post about Sunday for two reasons. First, we moved into our new house this weekend. Yay! We love it, but it was a busy couple of days trying to unpack as much as possible with Evan around.

But today is also the day I got to go to our old rental house and clean it up. Maybe you think my husband should have done this instead of my 25 week pregnant self, but I’m sure y’all understand he does not comprehend the level of cleanness required to avoid cleaning fees. It only took 4 hours, so it wasn’t too bad. I felt fine during the whole ordeal; I was obviously tired but not as much as I expected to be. I expected not being able to walk once I settled down (hips get really sore at times), but I was fine, if only a bit sore.

But then I came home and looked at myself in the mirror. Today is the first day I actually felt like a big pregnant lady. My belly is definitely there, and it’s big. I guess pregnancy amnesia has kicked in, because I don’t remember feeling or looking so big at this point last time. My dear husband respectfully disagrees and says I looked just as big, but I just don’t remember it.

Anyways, I’m big and pregnant, and this is just getting started, really. We’ll see how big I get in the end.

A dream come true

Long ago, when we were still pregnant with Evan and we were daydreaming of life with a child, Josh shared a dream of his with me. He looked forward to those nights when our child would join us in bed during a rough night. You know, those nights when they’re sick or had a bad dream, and they come to your bedroom door looking for reassurance or you bring them in so they feel safer. You open the blankets to welcome them in, and everyone sleeps soundly, everyone feeling loved and secure.

At that point, I opposed. I said there’s no way that’ll happen; I don’t want our kids to be coming to our bed 5 nights a week because it’s so easy to do. If they are sick or have a bad dream, I will stay with them until they go back to sleep, then return to our bed. Josh didn’t care about my protests, he insisted one day it would happen, and I would love it so, it would happen again.

The day came, or better said, the night. It was last night. Evan has only had one rough night before, last month, but after a couple of hours of wanting nothing but mommy, he went back to sleep. Last night we were not so lucky. He went to bed at the normal time, but was awake by 9:30 pm. It took me almost 20 minutes to put him back to sleep, but he did. Sadly enough, he was awake by 10:20 pm. And so I stayed with him, lied on the floor with him, and waited for him to cuddle with me and go back to sleep. Well, he wanted to make sure I didn’t go anywhere, so he tried to sleep on me, literally. He laid his head on the side of my waist (I was laying on my left side) and wrapped his arms over so that he was kneeling next to me, using me as a big pillow. That was not comfortable at all, so I didn’t let it go on for long, and finally he lied next to me and fell asleep. I tried to move him into his crib a couple of times, but he woke up screaming every time, until finally I moved him and kept my hands on him for a while longer (a quite uncomfortable stretch to make with a pregnant belly, I may add) until I was able to slip through the door and go back to my bed. Success! It only took 1.5 hours.

But he was awake again by 1:20 am. I decided it was daddy’s turn to take over, so I woke him up and sent him on his way. Evan would not calm down for him, so finally they both came through the door. I was half asleep, but I knew what was happening and I opened the blankets to receive my poor baby, who just wanted his mama. Mom was too tired to go sleep on the floor, so I gave, and decided it was time to give this sleeping together a try and hope we could all get some sleep.

Boy, was I wrong. Evan slept between us, on top of the blankets (he doesn’t like blankets, and his PJs are warm enough), which meant both Josh and I were lacking blankets at one point or the other. He fell asleep with his feet right next to my face, curled up against my body. I could see how easy it would be for me to get a black eye, so I tried to move, but then I ended up with no blankets. So we moved Evan a bit, and that was better. However, every time he woke up, he woke up with a cry into the night, so we had to sooth him again and help him go to sleep. Then he went to hang out next to daddy, then back to me, and so on. Finally at 6 am I took him to his crib and let him cry himself to sleep. I was that tired and determined to get a good hour of sleep. Turns out he was as tired as we were, and he cried for a whole minute before falling asleep.

When I went back to bed I told Josh “never again”. He wholeheartedly agreed and admitted that Evan was a pain to sleep with, and that his dream had turned into a nightmare and he never wanted to try that again. I was never happier to hear he had just as crappy a night as I did!
I’m sure sometime in the future we’ll give it another go, and probably decide again it isn’t for us, but while that amnesia kicks in, I’ll say it again: never again.

I think he knows...

Evan has been doing some things lately that he hadn’t done before. When we’re lying in bed with his books, he lifts up my shirt to expose my belly, and then pretends to give it kisses or Buddha bellies. It results in a belly covered in drool, but it’s still cute as hell. And he doesn’t do that with DH’s belly. No, that’s belly bongo, he bangs on it. My belly gets kisses.

I think he knows someone is in there…

24 weeks

Fifteen more weeks to go. It sounds like forever. Especially if I continue to put on 2 pounds per week. ::hangs head in shame::

I trust my body, I know I’m gaining exactly what I need, but dang it, 2 pounds a week is a lot! I really don’t think I’m eating that much more, and I only had one chocolate fudge cake in the whole 3 weeks (somehow I seem to think that matters)

My blissful second trimester of comfort period may be approaching an end. I’m starting to get heartburn again. I’m starting to experience some swelling on my ankles, though not every day. And have I mentioned I hate the bed we sleep in? I’m almost counting to hours till we move into our house (6 more days!)

OBGYN

When we found out I was pregnant again and we had such limited options out in Washington for OBGYNs, I got nervous. After the very dramatic birth or Evan, I realized that absolute trust and chemistry with your doctor is essential for a positive birth experience, even if drama filled. We absolutely loved our doctor in Arizona, and when he said a c-section was necessary, we had no doubt that he was doing what was best for Evan and me.

So when we started seeing a new doctor in Washington, I tried to find that connection. I didn’t really find it the first day we met our doctor, Dr. P, but it was definitely there the second time we saw him. Too bad that was the last time too. As we moved to North Carolina and were faced with limited options again, the prospect of started all over again was daunting. I even called a referral service and chose someone that was on island all the time, since so many doctors just do consults a couple days a week but don’t actually live here. When I called Dr. K’s office to ask questions about the practice, I was set up with an appointment and asked to transfer my medical file. Just like that, I had a doctor.

Dr. K is good. There was no click, like with our first doctor, but definitely seemed competent. So we made our next appointment. Next time I didn’t feel any better. It’s not that I felt uncomfortable with him, I’m absolutely certain he’s a good doctor that makes good medical decisions. Like DH said, it’s a bedside manners thing, and I just didn’t feel … something. And so after a lot of guilt and pondering the matter, I decided to go see a different doctor, Dr. D. I felt like I was cheating, consumed by shame for considering dumping my new doctor, for really no good, specific reason.

But alas, this is important to me. The day Evan was born changed from plain expectation to an absolute stressed out situation in minutes, and I would’ve lost it if I didn’t completely trust Dr. J. I don’t expect any problems this time around since we’re doing a scheduled c-section, but if I learned anything from Evan’s birth is that the unexpected can happen.

So today I met Dr. D, and the connection is there. And it was one of those “a-ha” moments when I felt the need to find the nearest wall and bang my head against it. Since I started looking for doctors online, I saw his name and it made me smile. You’d think at 31 I should know better than to ignore my instincts.

His character is a lot different, he offers a lot more explanations and asks more questions, he’s more approachable in a way. I’m a quiet person, I need someone like that. He immediately said it was a bedside manners thing (he used the same words DH used), and also that for c-sections Dr. K was excellent, and that in no way could he say he was a better doctor than Dr. K. They even use the same team (small hospital), so the medical aspect of it would be pretty much identical. But the experience could be different just because of the way they are. I agree. And I choose Dr. D. After that “a-ha” moment in his office, I’m confident in my decision.

The one thing that surprised me about Dr. D was that he was very open to a VBAC. I was not expecting that at all, I thought no one would consider it after only 16 months of a c-section. I actually considered it for a bit, until I started talking to DH about it and realized I was stressing out just thinking about it. No, thanks, I’m looking forward to a boring c-section with no drama or pain.

Now I just have to call Dr. K’s office and cancel my next appointment. Cue the guilty feelings…

23 weeks

Bear is a mover and a shaker. And she has little patience with my bladder. She goes all Kung Fu on it whenever it gets in her way. And I’m starting to believe she actually moves MORE than Evan did, and that’s something. So, obviously I’m scared.

The week has been easy, pregnancy-wise. The one thing that really bothers me is that big network of varicose veins that is wrapped around my right thigh. DH thinks it’ll go away, but I’m not so sure. It’s just so massive! Sigh…

This bed is really going to be the end of me. I’m so sore, it feels like I was run over by a truck, 20 times, every morning. I sleep on my left side as much as I can, but my whole side goes numb, so I find myself sleeping on my right side or just on my back to get a break. But then that gets numb, so I have to move again. My shoulder and my hip feel like I’ve been lying on concrete; the shoulder pain around my neck is there all day long. I really think I’ll need a good massage after we get our bed back, because the bed we sleep in right now is downright torturous.

Here’s to 10 more days.