OBGYN

When we found out I was pregnant again and we had such limited options out in Washington for OBGYNs, I got nervous. After the very dramatic birth or Evan, I realized that absolute trust and chemistry with your doctor is essential for a positive birth experience, even if drama filled. We absolutely loved our doctor in Arizona, and when he said a c-section was necessary, we had no doubt that he was doing what was best for Evan and me.

So when we started seeing a new doctor in Washington, I tried to find that connection. I didn’t really find it the first day we met our doctor, Dr. P, but it was definitely there the second time we saw him. Too bad that was the last time too. As we moved to North Carolina and were faced with limited options again, the prospect of started all over again was daunting. I even called a referral service and chose someone that was on island all the time, since so many doctors just do consults a couple days a week but don’t actually live here. When I called Dr. K’s office to ask questions about the practice, I was set up with an appointment and asked to transfer my medical file. Just like that, I had a doctor.

Dr. K is good. There was no click, like with our first doctor, but definitely seemed competent. So we made our next appointment. Next time I didn’t feel any better. It’s not that I felt uncomfortable with him, I’m absolutely certain he’s a good doctor that makes good medical decisions. Like DH said, it’s a bedside manners thing, and I just didn’t feel … something. And so after a lot of guilt and pondering the matter, I decided to go see a different doctor, Dr. D. I felt like I was cheating, consumed by shame for considering dumping my new doctor, for really no good, specific reason.

But alas, this is important to me. The day Evan was born changed from plain expectation to an absolute stressed out situation in minutes, and I would’ve lost it if I didn’t completely trust Dr. J. I don’t expect any problems this time around since we’re doing a scheduled c-section, but if I learned anything from Evan’s birth is that the unexpected can happen.

So today I met Dr. D, and the connection is there. And it was one of those “a-ha” moments when I felt the need to find the nearest wall and bang my head against it. Since I started looking for doctors online, I saw his name and it made me smile. You’d think at 31 I should know better than to ignore my instincts.

His character is a lot different, he offers a lot more explanations and asks more questions, he’s more approachable in a way. I’m a quiet person, I need someone like that. He immediately said it was a bedside manners thing (he used the same words DH used), and also that for c-sections Dr. K was excellent, and that in no way could he say he was a better doctor than Dr. K. They even use the same team (small hospital), so the medical aspect of it would be pretty much identical. But the experience could be different just because of the way they are. I agree. And I choose Dr. D. After that “a-ha” moment in his office, I’m confident in my decision.

The one thing that surprised me about Dr. D was that he was very open to a VBAC. I was not expecting that at all, I thought no one would consider it after only 16 months of a c-section. I actually considered it for a bit, until I started talking to DH about it and realized I was stressing out just thinking about it. No, thanks, I’m looking forward to a boring c-section with no drama or pain.

Now I just have to call Dr. K’s office and cancel my next appointment. Cue the guilty feelings…